I miss praying. It's so easy to ignore God and stubbornly do things my own way at my own time. Been there, done that, crashed, felt hollowed out, empty, frustrated and bleak. God's always there, and it's so easy to turn around and start praying and communicating and talking to God but I just stubbornly chose to run the wrong way just to have a piece of my own world where I can have things at my own time. How silly I am to think that I can get myself whatever that makes me happy. The little thing that I do for myself to please myself is just a fleeting moment of transcient distraction that seems very much like joy and delight. But it's a mere facade for covering up the hollowed emptiness that only God can fill.
And God fills so abundently when I decided to pray. There's nothing I can give but my honesty. I have nothing to offer but little bits of me and the little moments I give in prayer. And God knows. As if He doesn't know how I feel while I'm running away. He knows better than me. And when I pray, suddenly, God made me aware of where I'm heading, how lost I am and it is really so reassuring to know that I'm with God again instead of running from Him. He never left me though I was heading in all other ways.
It's just a little prayer, but it has made me desire to pray everyday, and make prayer an attitude.
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