The three words that the deceitful and proud heart refuses to acknowledge. The three words that, when finally acknowledged and conceived, twist back and forth in my heart and mind. And after making endless circles, the words finally make it to the throat, only to get stuck there.
I think I owe these three heart-felt words to a lot of people. A giganormous apology debt. My debt? Where from? From and for the things I did, said, and forgot. There're promises I've broken and forgotten. There're things I've said which hurt and cut. There're relationships I've taken for granted and forgotten. There're people I've disappointed. There're people whom I ran away from and left bewildered and frustrated. There're people whom I've hurt through the way I treated them. There're people whom I wanted to walk with through ups and downs but I failed. I'm sorry.
I am sorry.
I never had the courage to say these three words. Or acknowledge that I've hurt you... Maybe some of these people aren't even upset with me to begin with, maybe they've forgotten it all. But I regret what I did and didn't do. I am sorry.
I pray that I'll find the courage to face my regret and surrender it to the Lord together with my pride.
Despite these regret-filled shadows, I know the mercies of the Lord are new every morning, new every morning. Great is thy faithfulness O Lord. Great is thy faithfulness.
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