Graduation is for real.

I'm graduating. It's surreal. I had no feelings. Until my friend smsed to tell me that she'd miss having lunch with me. Suddenly my fingers started to tremble. And the waves of nostalgia came. I'll miss my friends. I won't be with them anymore. You can't be together forever like that. You don't move together. Nobody does things for the sake of doing them anymore. Like crashing lectures just to be with your friend. Or rushing from one faculty to another just to meet your friend for lunch so she won't be alone and you won't be alone. No more V-day gift exchanges and mass sharing of presents. No more sweetie pie notes and cute "jiayou" smses. No more late night smuggling of coffee into computer labs and hush-hush eyeing of 70-percents and eye candy. Neither cranky jokes and the liberty to be loud, candid and even brash. No more gushing, no more acting cute and no more being blur. No more mugging in the library, no more fooling around in the labs, no more cheap thrill of smuggling food into LTs and libraries. No more freezing exam halls, no more printing of lecture notes. No more playful jokes and silly puns. No. No more.

If there's none of these, then what comes next?

I should be celebrating and yet I feel like cry.

Don't play me Vitamin C's "Graduation" now. I will cry. I miss the people in school. Regrets about school life? Maybe. For not studying harder? For not joining CCAs? For not making more friends? For not being involved in school? No, not really.

The only regret is perhaps, being half-hearted.

Neither hot nor cold, neither here nor there. Fit for nothing.

Yet fit for the King.

He qualifies who He calls and my tomorrow lies in His hands. To bid half-heartedness farewell is to trust and obey.

"When we walk with the Lord

In the light of His Word

What a glory He sheds on our way

While we do His good will

He abides with us still

And with all who will trust and obey

Trust and obey

For there's no other way

To be happy in Jesus

But to trust and obey

Not a shadow can rise

Not a cloud in the skies

But His smile quickly drives it away

Not a doubt, not a fear

Not a sigh, not a tear

Can abide while we trust and obey."