Warning: A long long entry full of mumblings

What happens when JT packs her room?

--- On cards, letters and such ---
Upon fishing up all old letters and cards, and burying myself in a heap of dust and mountains of old memories, my spring-cleaning led to nowhere. I can’t bear to discard all the simple sentimental stuff, and I can’t pinpoint where I should keep them. Anyway, most of them remain out of sight, and out of mind most of the time.

I found out that I’ve had a pen-pal in my lower sec days. She lives in HK, wanted to study law, and loves Wang Li Hom. Dishing out those old letters sprinkled with cutie stickers and cartoons stirred some sentimental yearning to write to this friend again. And those tons of X’mas cards… I didn’t event send a single card out last year. I received a few tho’ and I really feel like picking up my pen and just do some writing. Emo emo emo. After all, my cutie letter pads are all still around, complete with my cartoonie cutie stickers. Maybe, I’d relive the days of snail mail again. Maybe…

Snail mail requires effort tho. It’s not just the writing, it’s the getting the stamps and getting down to posting it. Of coz, there’s the fishing, dishing and searching high and low for addresses. And after sending, u’ve gota wait. And you’d wonder if you’ve gotten the address right. And today, your friend would probably smile at the letter, send u a thank-you sms or email. End of snail mail. Sheesh. Gone were the days of anticipating a reply snail mail.

--- On school uniforms and clothes ---
Mails aside, what exactly do you all do with old school uniforms and CCA uniforms? Like those badges and stuff. Dump them? I’d feel like it. But u’ve been wearing those for years you know. Worse still are those organization T-shirts… you can’t wear them coz you’d represent the organization upon putting them on (especially when u’re aren’t part of them anymore). And you can’t give them away. And it’s mean to mop the floor with them… My mama says, “Sell to karang guni la”.

--- On photos ---
Oh yea… and those photos! I can’t even remb some faces… oh sheesh. Mean right. I’m a meanie. And those were the days of my flawless skin… and big, bright eyes. Now I look old, weary and wizened. Plus dotty pimples. Eeks. My sisters call it the “effect of 2x”. Teenagers have it – energy and youth. The 2x aka twenty plus people don’t. I don’t want to imagine 3x and 4x. Will my pimples stop at 3x? mmmmm. (Do I sense some sorta vain bimbo-ness creeping up on me…)

--- On the little secrets of the past ---
And I found my diary. Those dear diary books. Eeeeks. I now come face to face with my past. It takes courage to flip through and read it and laugh at myself. Little secrets that I buried and kept all to myself in primary school and secondary school. I feel like throwing it away. Or maybe I should keep it. Re-reading it should help me understand the frustrations of growing up when I’m too old to empathize with it. Maybe I should designate a few days in a year—some sorta getaway for myself to read all these journals I keep… prayer journals and all my little diaries… to come to terms with all the little dark corners in my heart… to put closure to the little bits I’ve forgotten and to grow up and face the future with courage in the name of the Lord.

--- On the old academic world ---
Sec school textbooks; JC notes; Uni notes. What in the world do you do with all the hard work u’ve put there? Dump them? Im giving them away.

--- On finishing up... or not---
Arghhh I’m tired of packing. Half-done at least. I’m stuffing the rest somewhere for now. Break time.