Fairtales

I like fairtytales. But they aren't real, are they? They're glam-ed up stories, people and lives that aren't real. Fairytales don't say much about messy rooms, messy notes and worksheets lying all over the place. Nothing about disorderly and disorganized timetables. Nothing about "no-time-no-time" and "I'm too busy" syndromes. Nothing about "things-don't-always-go-effortlessly-happily-ever-after" facts. Anime can be a little more grey and down to earth. But. But. But. After indulging in the woes and wonders of the animated world, your own will be waiting in the solidly real and tangible dimension of life. Must I sound so doom and gloom. Who ate up all my cheer.

Disappeared. And back.

So I have disappeared from the blogosphere for quite a period of time eh? Yah, why. No time to blog coz I'm too lazy to think and express the smatter of hard-to-explain brainwaves that comes and goes irratically. And it feels wierd to write suddenly, when I realise there're people who're reading this.

That aside, other stuff has been sapping up my usual blogger habits. Anime is one. I'm SO STUCK on BLEACH. DOn't, and I mean D-O-N-T pass me any anime near exam period, or during school term for that matter. And don't pass me one series without having the complete 50 episodes or 100 episodes. I cannot take it when the cliffhanger endings just leave me dangling with my heart in my mouth. I like good storylines with pretty graphics, like the kind in AIR. Bleach is fine. Don't know why I don't like the graphics in Inuyasha. Neither full metal alchemist. Then again, haven't really been watching those.

And I'm trying to quit being online. If all my online time is squashed into study time, I might just make a miracle this semester. But no, TV takes more time off.

What is this. I'm morphing into my own brand of monster. Imagine staring into your own eyes in the mirror, and you see your alterego that only existed in your thoughts surfacing. And it's actully silently appearing, creeping, and infiltrating your gradually-found new habits. And then you wonder, "Is that really me?" The reflection becomes a stranger because you've been swept away by everything else outside you. I have forgotten to step aside to reflect, to think, and to pray. I'm flirting with the dangerous borderline of not even wanting to think. And I know I'll be swept away by the waves, tossed and thrown helplessly. And there'll be no rest if this is going to be me for the rest of my life.

I have a trustworthy Anchor which I do not reach out for. I know what it is like to hold on to the Anchor, in good times and bad. But I tend to let go during the good times and get lost on my own in the end. I feel so frustrated that I've loosened my grip time and again. No, I refuse to reach out because I'd inevitably let go again. I haven't understood that the Anchor is with me, holding onto me. All I have to do is to acknowledge that and the floating will stop. When? Just when will my deceitful heart begin to understand...

Another letter

Slipper Swish has written a second letter. Click to to read the first letter written seven months ago.


Dear so-and-so,

here I am penning my second draft of my resignation from this responsibility I have committed myself to. At the moment, I seriously have little capacity in doing things that I have intrinsic inclinations for and yet do not feel like doing. You may be concerned about why I do not feel like pouring my time, my heart and my soul into doing the very thing that I find worthwhile all along. Perhaps, there really is room for concern because it flows from a certain lack of input and communication with the Greater Authority and Master. This absence of refreshing input has turned my spirit and energy stale and half-hearted, which is why I am so reluctant and resistant when it coes to making plans for fulfilling my duties. On my own, I have not found the strength to overcome the inertia of challenging others to share the duties I cannot fulfill. Hence, I request that my duties be reduced to the bare minimum (without those that I completely cannot fulfill) and I'd like to apply for an indefinite holiday period to reflect and reconsider my situation. I appreciate all the opportunities, tolerance and care given to me and I apologize that I cannot meet basic expectations.

Yours Sincerely,
Slipper swish.

webbies.

Webbies I wanna take a peek at in due time:
movieministries.com
movieguide.org

Still

When the oceans rise and thunders roar
I will soar with you above the storm
Father You are King over the flood
I will be still, know You are God.

Psalm 37:7
Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him; do not fret when men succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes.
Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret-- it leads only to evil.

I did all that I could
away from what I should
Accumulatively rationalizing, numbing, ignoring
Hardening and choking
and getting lost.
Only to realise,
that when I'm humbly on my knees,
reflection, release, relief and re-direction
were all there
In a prayer.

Smoking around

If you like to ask questions such as "who invented it",check out this site http://inventors.about.com/. Was wondering who invented cigarettes... and so it seems... that smoking started like in 6000BC... and the native pre-Colombian Americans were smoking since long ago or something. And so tobacco seeds were later brought overseas... and tobacco was cultivated bla bla bla... and so now everyone knows about how smoking and lung cancer are related and how Singapore wants to confine smokers to a small area in hawkers and alfresco dining areas in a year's time. Sounds like good news to me. But it's quite sad eh, the smokers seem outcasted. Eh, try to quit smoking la.