Monday Blues

The mind races faster than the body.
The body stirs.
Time check: 3.30am.
The body slumps back into bed.
The mind pieces bits of reality into a seamlessly illogical story.
The alarm clock rings.
The vivid dream is fresh, but broken.
The body, a heavy log, remains unrefreshed by a routine shower.
Every step drags and weighs.
Every breath is laboured.
The sight dull and unobserving.
The palate flat, and the stomach queasy.
The emails sends waves of panicky irritation.
The appointments, note the appointments.
The weddings, note those days.
Celebrate seasons, celebrate life.
Have a drink.
Bring in some music.
Before the music plays,
Monday slowly picks up its speed.
The work hastens.
The footsteps lighten and quicken.
The sun sets.
The clouds glow.
The dusk settles.
The dinner comforts.
Then, the lull of a long day gets ignored.
The emails, more emails.
A flurry of responses in return, even at moonrise.
The mind races faster than the body.
The body lags in response.
Time check: 1am.
The body slumps into bed.
 

Very much like baking

I'm trained to make pancakes,
but am put in a cake bakery that makes muffin,
and is expected to bake cakes using muffin ingredients with my pancake experience.

Writing my cake recipe with my best pancake knowledge now.
 

7 years on from Graduation

Late nights, report-writing, quick breaks, deep breaths and the next report. Of course, after the reports, it was time to mug for the exams. Maybe I was younger and more energetic. Maybe my "mind-over-body" type of willpower was stronger. Maybe there was more hope and a brighter light at the end of tunnel called "school holidays". Whatever it was, it is now lacking. The same drive that fuelled me is not present in sufficient amounts to take me through. I suppose school taught us very well to do all that is given to us. School didn't teach us to throw off things that are given to us. Skills required for survival are sometimes more present in those who are more familiar with the easy way out.

Or am I really part of a fragile Millenium Me Me Me generation, who is now looking higher up the Maslow hierarchy of needs?

Therefore, to go or not to go, to stay or not to stay? Some look for a calling, but some say the calling is in the everyday.

Hang in there. Sometimes, every small step done right, is already an inch in the correct direction.

The airport soliloquy

Years out of school, I'm making it in and out of the airport the third time this month in a suit. On hindsight, I can't believe it. I never saw myself donning a suit. Much less board a plane (with a tinge of disinterest at that) and fall asleep once the safety video starts. The window seat lost its appeal and I have taken to the convenience of the aisle. My OCD of taking pictures of everything is getting cured. I smile wanly at people who say my job and all the flying around for its worth is exactly what they are looking for.

Never thought I could calmly sip a cup of O'brien's carrot and orange juice alone without getting self-conscious.

Never thought I could meet so many people around the world.

Never thought I would be so happy to go home. 

Quiet of the night

Birds chirping. (yes, they are nocturnal I guess)
Fan creaking.
Keyboard tapping.
Man, I'm working.
Why am I blogging?
Whatsapp buddies sleeping.

It's been a while, since it was this quiet.
It's been a while, since I've had a soliloquy.