The struggle

A hole filled with
A mass of experiences,
a mass of emotions,
a mess of reasoning,
and a mess of not knowing.

Then it came.
Abandonment:
Personified thrice.
Followed by what comes after a loss:
Three times.
Denial.
Anger.
Disappointment.
Depression.
Acceptance has not arrived.

Just Had a Bad Day

Not exactly a bad day. But it's one of the days. Those low, low, low, depressing days. Maybe these kinda of days jab too hard at my perception of my self-worth and my purpose. It's one of those low, low, low, days when I believe the world wouldn't be different without me. If I were to melt away the next instant, I'd be no more than a lost memory. Or, if I hadn't even appeared, the world would have been a better place. It's one of those days when I think I'm not good at what I'm currently doing, and probably won't be much better anywhere else.

And maybe, I'm stuck in my own vicious cycle of belittling my existence, shrinking away from the real world and the people in it, thereby fulfilling my self-fulfilling prophecies of how this world isn't affected by my presence.

So dreary. so Meaningless. And so half-hearted.

Sheesh. If I continue like this, I might turn into one of those old folks living in those retirement studio apartments... and die there without being found out till decomposition spews forth the smelly news.

Wah biang ah. So morbid. Eeeewwww. I shall stop here.

Tell me that tomorrow is always a better day.