Paintbrush

I keep my paint brush with me
Wherever I may go,
In case I need to cover up
So the real me doesn’t show.
I’m so afraid to show you me,
Afraid of what you’ll do - that
You might laugh or say mean things.
I’m afraid I might lose you.
I’d like to remove all my paint coats
To show you the real, true me,
But I want you to try and understand,
I need you to accept what you see.
So if you’ll be patient and close your eyes,
I’ll strip off all my coats real slow.
Please understand how much it hurts
To let the real me show.
Now my coats are all stripped off.
I feel naked, bare and cold,
And if you still love me with all that you see,
You are my friend, pure as gold.
I need to save my paint brush, though,
And hold it in my hand,
I want to keep it handy
In case somebody doesn’t understand.
So please protect me, my dear friend
And thanks for loving me true,
But please let me keep my paintbrush with me
Until I love me, too.

--Bettie B. Youngs

A poem I koped from my friend's blog. Sheesh. I'm feeling emo now... that I've met my friends whom I realise I really really miss. Friends whom I'm so comfortable with. People I can be vulnerable to. People I trust. People who see me for me. People I feel safe with.

Paintbrush in hand,
Layers of paint,
walking alone.
Safe in an isolated world.

Aging up...

The more I look at myself, the more I think I look like my dad. It's kinda strange to look so much like your dad when u're a girl. Like, a younger female version of your dad.

And I can see age creeping upon me in all those photos. It's all in the eyes. Age comes in the form of weary eyes and the loss of bright-eyed energentic-ness in all the photos. The next stage as I see it... will be fine lines on my face. I must learn to age gracefully.

Growing grass

I'm growing grass in my field of intellect and analysis,
absorbed in multi-tasking in a healthcare environment.
Seeing people at work with new eyes,
somewhat not new and yet unfamiliar.
Somewhat managing and yet not up to personal expectations,
somewhat disjointed from the bigger portion of the world,
ignorant of current affairs and,
lost in focusing on the insecurity of not having done what can be done.
Aha. Changes.
Welcome to the working world!


(ok, completely irrelevant picture. But my dog looks intellectual eh?)